Indy Vice

Here I will discuss about things that are holding you back… And how to let go of them.

I love Netflix. I mean the shit is crack. Not just Netflix but all streaming services. And Not just streaming services but media. I will sit and binge on a new season of whatever new show is out. I love it.

The way that we consume media today is so different from years past. We’d get a half hour or an hour of our favorite show and then we’d have to wait until next week. The show’s over…now go back to your life. The thing is… The show is never over now. I have stayed up until 3am watching shows. Mutliple times.

Candy crush…toy blast, angry birds… Whatever the games are now. I actually don’t even know anymore because I have removed all games from my phone. Golf Blast got me bad… Same thing… Continue until 3am. So dumb.

Why does this happen? Why do we allow ourselves to become prey to this consumption of media?

Ha! This section is about vices and I’m talking about Netflix and Candy crush. How different is that from years past? I guess I should address the most common like smoking, drinking, gambling.

The point is… You need to identify those things that you are doing that may be preventing you from feeling better.

I know that we have talked about not giving a fuck. About changing our perception of what life is supposed to be and how we are supposed to feel in it, but there are some things we can do (and some things we can abstain from) that will make us feel a bit better or not fuck our shit up.

I’m not even talking about jut

Fuck this clown

As Columbus said in Zombieland, “Fasten your seatbelt.  It’s gonna be a rough ride.”

This journey is not going to be easy.  It’s going to be uncomfortable. You may begin to see things you do not like about who you have been or who you are.  This will be a symbolic “look in the mirror”.  And it won’t be pretty.  I can tell you that right now.  If it was pretty you wouldn’t be reading this.  You have issues.  And they’re ugly.

I was driving south down I 69 towards Indianapolis in my 1986 Ford Bronco ii that I picked up 2 years earlier for $800. Windows wide open. I was enjoying the roaring silence of the white noise. I loved that truck. I had just got off the phone with my best Friend, Shawn. As was the norm, I was bitching about my ex wife, my girlfriend, or some other stupid shit. As I spoke I began to noticed that I would counter every event he had going on in his life with an event in mine. Swapping misery. Though his wasn’t misery. His was stuff. Normal “I am an adult” stuff.  Mine was self loathing bullshit that droned on and on. Oh, I was passionate for sure but it was the same shit. He was sort of indifferent which was unusual. He hung up and the white noise swallowed me up. I thought of who else I could talk to. My friend, Ray? My Sister? My mom? I NEEDED to talk to someone… To vent the nonsense that was battling between my ears destroying my ego. No one was available at the time but that didn’t matter. I realized that none of them could give me what I needed and I didn’t even know what that was. I was completely alone.

At that moment in the cab of my small truck I realized that I was completely alone.  I remember touching the ceiling and the dash feeling boxed in with my new found solidarity. Every problem, every circumstance, every relationship that, in my mind, had been entangled with other people was releasing and crashing down on me. Crushing me. It was painful. And freeing. And powerful. And profound. I had cut the proverbial cord from everyone. My problems were no one’s but my own. I couldn’t run to mommy. The few friends I had left couldn’t help. It’s not their job to help. In fact, I was dependent on those few brave, patient souls. The longer I depended on them the longer it took for me to grow up. Fuck this. It’s on me now.

I was 33 years old.

I still didn’t grow up.

Take stock of your life.  How long has this been going on? How long have you chosen to experience THIS life?  I’m sure its going ok… you’re on the right side of the dirt.  And it needs to stay that way.  But you need to change the game you’re playing.  You’re playing on novice but the game sucks.  Get to expert and win at a game that rocks.

Look at this fucking clown.

Of course, it had to be a clown.

No, it HAD to be a clown.

And it had to be Wichita
for me to finally understand

that some rules are made to be broken.

Time to nut up or shut up.

Fuck this clown.

Of course in this scene Columbus, who hates clowns has a show down with a zombie clown.  The rule that he references is his own rule #17 Don’t be a hero.

Fuck this clown.  Be a hero.

Fuck the Facebook

Ok. Ok. Ok.  We all love the Facebook.  But, we all also know that it can really fuck some shit up too.  Especially your mood if you let it.

Social media is lying to you.

Social Media supplements our belief that the truth is a real thing.  The people we follow are like us, mainly think like us, and post content that suits us.  Why would we have it any other way?  People spend hours each day on social media only being fed the stuff they want to see and what they believe to be TRUE.

Imagine yourself as a boat on a lake.  Let’s say a bunch of your Facebook “friends” are also boats.  (“WTF Jason?”  I know, bear with me).  All of you are out on the lake over July 4th.  Y’all decide to tie together out in the open water.  Pretty soon you have 10 to 15 boats all hanging out and having a blast.

There are 2 concepts here.  one, that you are you and solely you trapped in your “boat” of truth.  No one can get in.  and two, All your buddy “boats” of truth are all hanging out together in a group.  They are still them and you are still you all hanging together thinking this is the life and that red truly is RED.

You are sheltered in your party barge of “truth” boats to a broader truth.  If you took a moment and looked out over the water and saw the other boats way off in the distance and looked on the shore at the houses and people, you would realize that there is more to this life then my party barge.

You would realize there is more to life than your Facebook feed.

It is most definitely lying to you.

Social Media is dividing us

Most of your news feed is our “truth” party barge.  But, there are some additional friends that have slipped in because you thought you remembered them from high school later to find out they didn’t even go to your high school.  These randoms will likely get your bitch ass panties in a twist.  They will say something counter intuitive to your beliefs, your truths…

You see how the “Truth” gets us in trouble? Remember the TRUTH doesn’t exist.

Anyway… the randoms will say some condescending, idiotic statement about such and such.  You, being fully aware that your truth is the only truth, have to make some snarky comment about their lack of education, their mom, and how their kid looks like Gollum from lord of the rings.  And there you have it… you just started a social media war.

The thing is, you never would have said those things to that guys face because, have you seen him?  He’s huge.  He would pummel you in an albeit idiotic and condescending way.

Plan view anonymity.  You can post it, share it, say it in plan view of everyone with minimal fear of repercussion.  That’s you AND them.  No wonder we have gotten so divided.

What do you actually get out of Social Media?

Widdle it down.  See other peoples’ shit. See other peoples’ successes (which make you feel like shit). See political bullshit. And puppies and kittens.  Thank God for puppies and kittens.

The Truth

Truth? There is no truth. It doesn’t exist.

Every circumstance, every situation, every interaction is false. Nothing is as it seems.

Truth is never true. Why?

Because… it depends. It depends on your perspective. It depends on which side of the fence you’re on.

Let me give you an example. This rose is red. Truth, right? It doesn’t get simpler than that. As the old adage goes… roses are red, violets are blue. But what if you are colorblind and can’t see red. Is it red? If you want to be technical than sure, it is red. The pigment reflects a spectrum of light that is, in truth, red.

This also makes the point for me. One person will clearly SEE or perceive RED. From their perspective it is RED. To another person, one with color vision deficiency, the rose is, in truth, NOT RED.

Your TRUTH is not THE truth. There is NO truth. Roses are red, violets are blue, some see colors fine, some can’t see that hue.

When you finally understand this and relate it to all of your relationships you will begin to understand why others might behave the way they do. You may decided that you truly don’t know or understand someone else’s point of view and therefore may respond differently. Once you see that there is no truth you will begin to realize why and how you have been such an asshole. And you were an asshole. It’s ok though because they were assholes too.

The truth as I see it, in all my narcissistic self-centeredness, is not the same as your truth in all your narcissistic self-centeredness. Often times those perspectives I loosely call truths do not play well. Conflict and misunderstanding lives here.

It’s time to escape the trap, the chains, that have been preventing you from having meaningful relationships.